Hello again!! I have a very quick summary update on what has been going on in my life. Still just trying to write all of this down so I can look at it later 🙂

Generally I am a bit confused right now because I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I haven’t gotten my LSAT score back yet because I am an idiot and waited too long to do the writing section. So now all my info is still processing with LSAC. I sent in my rec letter requests, but still have not begun my personal statement (and really do not want to TBH). Basically I have weird lull in my application process right now which has really got me thinking.

I am starting to lean towards taking a gap year next year and just seeing what happens. I had such intense tunnel vision at the beginning of college in regards to soccer and wanting to be a doctor that now I feel like I missed out on pursuing other interests. Now that I am certain I’m not interested in either of those things, I want to take the time to explore other things. The best and most fun opportunities I have encountered so far have happened when I take a step back and explore what makes me most excited. I am also nervous that if I rush into school again I might miss out on unique opportunities that wont be around for too long. I won’t be young forever but law school isn’t going anywhere!!

I think I would enjoy being a paralegal and also maybe a fitness instructor on the side. That way I could get a better feeling for what being a lawyer would be like and also have some fun. I have also always wanted to teach group fitness classes, so I really want to give that a go now that I am no longer a soccer player.

On another note, I have loved not playing soccer anymore because I have so much more free time to do fun things. I have never experienced a fall without playing soccer, which is so crazy to think about. I have been going to the city a lot, spending more time with friends, and sadly also studying more.

Hello fans 🙂 after a small hiatus, I have now decided I am coming back to blogging! I am here to stay now.

Wow, what a crazy few months it has been. The last time I posted was a month and half into quarantining, aka what feels like 3 years ago.

A quick summary of some of the (socially distanced ish) things I have done since I’ve been away

1. Spent some time in Arizona and Santa Fe with Caleb!! I flew there and we drove from Arizona back to St. Louis
2. Started studying for the LSAT
3. Pushed back the LSAT from August 29 to October 3 (whoops)
4. Was forcibly retired from being a college athlete
5. Visited my Fiji roommate, Talia, in Grand Haven, Michigan
6. Moved into a new house with new roommates!!!

I am so excited to be here with my friends for a somewhat normal last year of college. It’s definitely strange and mentally draining to stay in this house all day everyday studying, but I love it. Currently one of my roommates, Rose, has COVID and is quarantining with her girlfriend, and another roommate hasn’t moved in yet. So it is currently just three of us (Ellie, Julia, and I) in this five bedroom house. So much space for only three people!

I have found that adjusting to not having soccer this fall is really not that bad. I honestly don’t miss soccer that much, only the social aspect of it. I love having the weekends to study more and chill instead of traveling and playing games. I was a little bit worried about creating a new workout schedule since I am not training for soccer anymore. But!! my roommate, Julia, and I have been on a tight workout schedule. We are completing Kylie Ross’s ebook, Train Like an Athlete. This ebook is amazing. Its for sure some of the hardest workouts I have ever done, I totally recommend buying it. Thank god for Kylie, I really love having a workout schedule set for me every week. It is such a relief.

Other than seeing some friends, studying, and working out, I don’t have much else going on!! I have set a new goal for myself to update this blog every week for the rest of the semester (and hopefully for some time beyond that too). I want to have a recollection of this time to look back on later so I never forget.

I will also be trying to upload more recipes and what I have been eating to my food sections. I know a lot of my friends have been interested/experimenting with some of my food recommendations. Hopefully adding more recipes and ideas will help everyone (including myself) out with keeping things fun and fresh in the kitchen!! Anywayysss I will reconnect with you people next week!!! Yay can’t wait.

Hey everyone!! Sorry to have abandoned you for a whole month. I can’t say I have any excuses for not updating the blog, as I haven’t had much to do.

A quick update on what I have been up to. School has really ramped up for me, and I have a whole month and a half left until finals. All my papers and first assignments are due this week after my month long spring break. I have also decided to take a summer course starting in May, and start studying for the LSAT! Quite the turn of events since Fiji.

I have developed a pretty structured daily routine (only took me an entire month to adjust), so my productivity levels have skyrocketed from literally nothing to my normal level of studying. I really hated being quarantined at first, but honestly now I don’t mind it too much. I go outside everyday still, and this new life has become very normal. At this point, I can’t really imagine a life where I can walk into a public building without being nervous about touching something, or getting too close to someone.

Alsoooooo, I have been posting a lot of new stuff under the food tab on my home page! If you are interested at all in switching up what you’re eating, or just reading about something new, check it out!! Now is a great time to experiment with food, especially if you’re super bored. Shout out to my grandpa, this is the perfect time to fulfill your goal of becoming a hippie vegan!!!!!

I love and miss you all so much, I can’t wait to see everyone soon!!!! Here are some pics of my favorite quarantine moments 🙂

Shit is getting hard. This whole situation with the world is really something right now and just like everyone else, I am not sure how to deal with it. But, I am going to share some of the things I am trying.

1. Journaling!! Honestly, when I get in the habit of doing absolutely nothing, even writing words on a piece of paper seems like a lot for me. But, when I do force myself to do it, I feel really good. A journal is cool because it listens to everything you say and doesn’t respond or judge you. You can say literally anything to your journal with no consequences, its pretty cool.
2. Music! If I feel my vibrations are off, I will try to recenter my energy. To do this, I listen to music that helps me raise my internal vibes. I made a new playlist on Spotify called “Vibrations” that you may find helpful. I really believe that when I have thoughts of wanting to kill someone, changing the energy around me can stop those thought patterns.

I have also been having a very common problem with myself recently where I get extremely angry at my friends and family for complaining about the hard experiences I am also having. It’s frustrating to hear someone talk about how mad they are they can’t work, leave their house, or see their friends/significant other, because I feel the exact same way. Here are a few phrases that are easy to give as responses when someone is complaining. I am stealing these quotes from @the.holistic.psychologist on Instagram

• How can I support you right now?
• What does it feel like for you?
• Would you like me to talk with you, or just listen?
• Is there anything else you would like to share?

Saying simple things like this, or just explaining that you are frustrated and would like to talk again later work best for me. If I don’t have a plan of how to be nice, I’ll often explode. That’s not good for anyone.

Other things I have mainly been doing right now is cooking and working out. I have no regiment, and just do whatever I feel like on any given day. I will be posting about my workouts and the food I eat on my website as well.

To start out this weeks blog post, I want to give a shoutout to my grandma and grandpa. Thank you for reading all of my blog posts, and always leaving comments!! I love you guys, thanks for being my biggest fans!!!

Week one of my quarantine has now been completed. I am quite proud of myself. Currently symptom free, besides the headaches I get from staring at screens all day.

My mom (god bless her) allowed us to get a spin bike that Steel Wheels was renting. We got it for $40 a week plus $5 for shoes. I have been loving this because it is way too cold to go outside, and I set up my yoga mat next to it so I can do all of my workouts easily. Its a great set up.

I wanted to share some of my thoughts about the quarantine so far and what I have noticed. The biggest thing I have noticed is the insane amount of memes being circulated. Another shout out to grandpa, I saw the memes you sent my mom those are hilarious. You have a great sense of humor. This large meme production to be expected, but some of them I find extremely annoying. The particular category of memes that bothers me are the ones about how we should all get on a schedule, clean our closets, organize shit, and be productive. Honestly, this is super uncalled for and needs to stop. During a pandemic is not the time for anyone to be telling each other what they should or should not be doing (besides washing their hands, social distancing etc). If one day I wake up at 2pm, and the only thing I do that day is eat bread and watch Love Is Blind, that is that. If the next day I choose to wake up at 9am and be productive, that is also great and no one should comment on it.

I have also noticed that I find myself being really annoyed by the sound of other humans voices. Specifically, I am talking about the humans I currently am quarantined with. My family. I am not sure if this feeling just pertains to me… But, after hearing the same voices day and night, even if they are not talking to me, I get extremely angry. One thing I have done to solve this issue is journal about how angry it makes me. I have also chosen to sit outside for long periods of time, where I cannot hear anyones voice.

On a more positive note, I have taken this time to really get into cooking. Most days I find it to be the most productive thing I can get myself to do, and I have actually been enjoying it. I am going to post some of my recipes on my “food” page if anyone wants to check them out. Not right now, I’ll probably get to that later this week. If you’re not interested in checking them out, thats cool. I respect you and your choice to not cook vegan food during this quarantine. haha.

I have also been spending a lot of time with my cats. They’re so cute I love them the most ever.

Happy quarantining!!!

Hello!! My last week in Fiji was really crazy. At the beginning of the week, I had no thoughts that I would even have to leave. Then Trump declared the 30 day Europe travel ban and my roommates and I started to get a little bit nervous. We assumed we wouldn’t be able to stay until June, but wouldn’t have to leave that week.

By Friday, things had escalated enough throughout the world that I figured it would probably be my last weekend in Fiji. So, I decided to go to Nadi with Talia. We hung out with some of our local friends, and just sat on the beach. Talia’s friend from the US also came to visit that day, but had to leave to go back to the US just a few days later because of corona.

By the time I woke up on Saturday, my mom had already decided it was time for me to come home that Monday. I was completely devastated. I was sitting on the beach while talking to her, staring at exactly what I had to leave behind.

Now I am back at home. It actually hasn’t been as bad of an adjustment as I thought it would be. Turns out I am very used to doing nothing haha. But it is really sad to look outside and see no people, and nothing green. The sunsets do not compare, and shivering when I walk outside is not something I enjoy.

Though I was very upset to leave Fiji, I am very grateful that I have a safe home to go to, and am not worried about having a lack of food or resources. In Fiji, most people don’t have anything. The water and electricity turn off all the time, and no one really knows when it will come back on. They import most of the supplies they have, so when it runs out, it is very hard to restock. Health care is not good, and their government is unstable. I feel horrible for all the villagers I met who do not know what they’ll do if one of them gets sick. The resort workers we would hang out with are all out of a job now too. It is scary being in a first world country while this is all happening, I cannot imagine living through this in a third world country like Fiji.

Bula! Last week’s school week was more difficult that usual. I ran into some issues. I got pretty home sick and frustrated with the fact that I live in a third world country. They don’t have a lot of the amenities I am lucky to have at home, and sometimes it’s hard for me to adjust to that. I have found while I am here that the good stuff is really good, and the bad stuff really sucks.

I also have gotten frustrated with how slow everything is here. I like to move at a very fast pace, and go through my day without interruption. But, sometimes this is not possible with the Fijians. They too run on their own schedule. This schedule happens to be moving at the pace of frozen mollasses during the middle of a Chicago winter, dripping down the side of the Sears tower at about 0.0000000000000001 an inch per hour. It makes me quite angry. I am trying really hard to adjust and slow myself down, but I have a long ways to go.

I had to do a lot of homework this week too, which was unfortunate. I also got back on my normal schedule of working out and eating (check out my intermittent fasting post under the food category!!). Thats definitely a plus.

I didn’t take a lot of pictures this week, but here are a few!

Hello!! I am once again posting this very late. This is the post for February 17-23.

Week four was especially amazing. Friday morning after our Fijian 101 test Maria, Talia, Callum and I went on an adventure to Nadi. Nadi is the other main city in Fiji thats on the northwest side of the island.

We took a bus up to Nadi Friday morning and checked into the Bamboo Travelers Resort. The four of us shared a room, it had two bunk beds and air conditioning. We just hung out the whole day and got drinks on the beach.

Being on the west side of the island for sunset was so amazing. It was way better than sunsets in Suva (where I live) on the southeast side of the island.

Saturday morning, we left on a boat to go to Beachcomber Island for the day!!! Its a 30ish minute boat ride from the main island.

We snorkeled off the coast of the tiny island when we arrived. The sand is all white and the water is crystal clear. The reefs were amazing, I saw giant bright blue starfish and psychedelic colored fish darting around. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Each reef was like its own little town, busy with cute fish swimming around doing different things. I loved it so much. 

At one point, I swam into a school of fish while they were feeding. I was surrounded by hundreds fish, all small and zebra striped. I couldn’t move an inch without touching them. A few of them would come up close to me, and stare into my soul. They also pecked me on the nose of my snorkel. I’m pretty sure they were giving me kisses. I listened to a podcast about a year ago where the host talked about a similar experience he had. I kind of thought he was crazy, but now I get it. I really did feel one with the fish. They accepted me into their school.

Per Camille Respess’s request, I wrote a poem about this experience:

I am one with the fish 

Eat them

I shall not 

I can’t move 

But I can breathe 

Thank you, 

Snorkel 

After we snorkeled off the shore, the workers on the island offered to take us out further into the ocean to see more reefs. These reefs were even cooler, and way bigger. Once again, I felt like I was in the movie Finding Nemo. I swam through a giant trench in between two reefs, it was terrifying how deep it went. If you may recall, in Finding Nemo the school of fish Dory talks to said to swim through the trench, so that is what I did. I was able to see lots of clownfish in their sea anemones. They were so cute I wanted to touch them so badly (but I didn’t, don’t fret). 

At the end of our reef tour, the tour guide gave me some bread to feed the fish. When he handed it to me, hundreds of fish swarmed my body. They nibbled at my hands, and all over my body. It was so cool, but I got very scared and screamed. Couldn’t handle the heat. 

At around 4pm, we got picked up to go back to the main island. This was really tragic because under no circumstances did I want to leave.

Hello again!! I’m so excited to share what’s been going on the past two weeks. I’m backtracking for week 3, and will post week 4 right after this 🌴✨🐠

Starting with the week of February 10th (two weeks ago), I went to the school pool just about everyday. No one goes there besides the exchange students, so every time I show up I know one of my friends will be there!

school

I was very adamant about the international office changing my course load, and allowing me to take multiple law courses to count towards my legal studies minor. After lots of pushing and convincing, they finally allowed me to enroll in three 200 level law courses. But it turns out that these aren’t undergraduate law courses, they are legitimate law school courses. Apparently no one felt the need to share this information with me. All of the students I have class with are second year law students. They will be graduating in two years, taking the bar exam, and practicing law in Fiji.

I was unaware that law school in Fiji is only four years, and that you cannot take courses in the law school unless you are an actual law student. It didn’t even cross my mind it could be possible for students to only have to do four, not seven years of school to be a lawyer. But alas, this is the case. So now I’m in Fijian law school. Definitely getting my moneys worth of education while I’m here haha.

So far, this has not proved to be too challenging. But, I have a mock trial coming up soon so we’ll see how I’m feeling about law school after that.

week 3 weekend

After my third week of classes, my friends and I took a trip to the eastern side of Fiji. We stayed in a small village on the beach, at the base of a mountain. It was stunning. The beach had pure black sand, horses grazing on the shore, and beautiful flowers falling from the trees.

We stayed in a small hut like structure with about 10 beds in it. All the places we stay in are dorm style rooms. As you can see, I slept on the top bunk. This ended up not being a smart decision for me. I dropped my phone in the middle of the night and it shattered. Yes, now both my phone screen and laptop screen are shattered. And no, there are still no Apple stores here for me to fix either of these issues. But I am choosing to see this as a positive thing, as sign for me to spend less time on my phone and computer. I’ve been working on having less screen time since then and starting reading more books. I also listen to a lot of podcasts- shout out MindBodyGreen and Crime Junkie!!!

On Saturday, we all took a boat about 20 minutes off the shore to where the dolphins tend to hangout. Seeing the dolphins was an unreal experience. There were pods everywhere, at least a hundred dolphins. There were even tiny baby dolphins that were only around 2-3 feet long leaping out of the water. I couldn’t believe it. (I didn’t take these videos, my friend Jordan did)

After watching the dolphins, we went snorkeling. The water was very choppy which made it a bit difficult and tiring to swim, but it was still very beautiful. (I also didn’t take these pictures, one of my friends did)

Sunday morning we woke up and hiked about 30 minutes up the mountain to a waterfall. I didn’t bring my phone with me on this excursion, but it was just as amazing as you could imagine. We had the cutest tour guide, a 7-year-old boy named Junior. I asked him all about his life growing up in a Fijian village, and it sounds pretty amazing. Apparently, he just goes to school and plays in the ocean. We each gave him $2 FJD for his services. He and I both agreed he should spend all that money on candy.

This week was really crazy. I spent the whole week trying to figure out how to enroll in new courses, then my laptop broke. This caused quite a few issue for me, and I still haven’t really figured out how to use the new HP I bought, so I’m writing this off my phone.

I definitely felt a lot of culture shock this week. Being an American in Fiji, I stand out in a lot of ways including the way I look, dress, and my accent. People are also very intrigued as to what life in American is like. Fijians will approach my roommates and I out in public to take pictures of us, and ask questions about America. I usually get a lot of questions about Trump, and why I decided to leave America to come study in Fiji.

Class is very weird for me too. All my classes are in huge lectures of around 300 students. At LFC I’m used to classes of about 25 students tops.

My roommates and I have been hanging out with the other exchange students a lot. We went to yoga and out to bars together.

This weekend, we went on a international student excursion to a Fijian village and resort. The village was amazing, I loved getting to see how people really live here. Their lives are very simple and family centric. All of their houses are one room, painted a bright color, and have tin roofs.

The villagers were very persistent on all of us drinking multiple bowls of kava. Kava is a traditional Fijian drink. They put the kava, which looks like a brown powder, in a bag and smush it around in a giant bowl of water. It looks literally like dirt mixed with water. It also kind of tastes like dirt mixed with water.

When drinking kava, a Fijian village member comes up to you with a wooden bowl full of it, and hands it to you (it’s very rude to turn down kava). You then have to say “Bula” and chug it. Once you chug, your whole mouth goes numb. After drinking a few bowls, it gets you super high. It’s quite the experience. I drank three huge bowls at 10am, and was high until about 1pm.

After we left the village, we went to a resort. They made us play team building games on a turf field that was about 100 degrees. That sucked, but then we went to the beach and it was absolutely amazing. This resort was called Uprising, and is about 1.5 hours from Suva.